Day 2 in Maui"Head straight down this path, make a right, climb the cliff, then follow the weirdo nudists," our hostel van driver instructed us. My group of fellow hostelers and I followed the instructions and began our hike to Makena's "Little Beach," a sort of Mecca for Hawaiian-hippie types. Since I am now a badass hiker, climbing cliffs and mountains are no sweat for me. I even helped my new Danish friends climb their way to the beach, our destination for the day.
When I arrived to the small but beautiful beach, I was greeted by several "free spirited" naked hippies. "Wow! How liberating," I said to my Danish friends. Our group set up camp on the beach a few yards in front of the drum circle. The Jamaican-Hawaiian drum music filled the air. A beach vendor walked around announcing that he had fresh homemade pot brownies for $5. "This is pretty cool," I thought to myself. A fellow backpacker who sat beside me put some mysterious drug into his drink. I have no clue what it was, whatever.
As I soaked up the sun's rays I tried not to ogle any naked people. You would think that a nude beach would be filled with many attractive bodies. Well, that is not really the case. All the attractive people were clothed and the older (grosser) bodies were the naked ones. Nudist men outnumbered the women 2 to 1. I guess men really love to hang out with their wangs out. Oh well, I was still having a good time.
*Fast Forward 4 hours later*
With my legs pulled into my chest, I began to rock back and forth like that scary chick in the movie, "Paranormal Activity." The hippie peeps were coming to the beach in droves. Our little beach camp was completely infiltrated with floppy shlongs and overgrown hoo-has. The incessant drumming never stopped, not even for a second. The drumming encouraged the most ridiculous dancing which involved squatting, bending, and jumping - not aesthetically appealing movements while in your birthday suit. I was going insane. I thought about listening to my iPod to drown out the drums, but I couldn't bare the thought of appearing rude.
I tried to not look at any more nude people, but they were everywhere. The penis is the most ridiculous thing - completely utilitarian. There is nothing beautiful about the male anatomy. I saw enough penises to last me a life time. The only attractive naked dude finally put his shorts back on and I thought he looked so much better. I hope I never see another penis again, they are just plain silly.
That ended up being kind of a long day.
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