Life Lesson #5 - The key to a successful bracket is picking teams with a cool mascot

First off, the most badass college mascot is East Carolina University's PeeDee the Pirate. I had to put that in here. But ECU ain't eva going to no basketball tourney. Sigh...

So.....

This morning at work I sat at my desk and stared down at a blank 2010 NCAA tournament bracket. A line of patients were waiting for me, but I had to get my bracket together before tip off. I have my priorities, ya know?

I'm going to let you in on a little secret about me. I know nothing about college basketball. But I love gambling and competitions. My paucity of college basketball knowledge puts me in quite a pickle cuz, I wanna win but I don't have the inside handicapper info. Sure I could do hours of research and study the trends, etc. But like I said, there was a line of patients waiting for me.

So here's my strategy. I'm gonna choose winning teams based on who has a scarier/cooler/more interesting mascot. Let's look at a few examples.

Kentucky Wildcats vs. East Tennessee State Buccaneers
Hmm. What's a Buccaneer? Is that like a pirate or something? Well if it's a pirate then I have to go for them. Because my alma mater is the Pirates (see above). Okay, East Tennessee State it is! Next!

UNLV Rebels vs. Northern Iowa Panthers
A Rebel? Like in the civil war? Well, I'm from the South and my great, great grandfather was a general in the civil war and fought for the confederacy. So I'm gonna go with the Rebels! Next!

Florida Gators vs. Kansas State Wildcats
Alligators are plain scary. Actually, they are quite populous where I live in South Florida. I am always hearing about how some gator ate someone's cat straight out of the back yard. *shiver* So I'm just gonna assume that a gator could eat a wildcat. Florida it is! Next!

Gonzaga Bulldogs vs. Florida State Seminoles
A puppy dog versus a Native American. Us Americans have stolen so much from the Natives. I better not mess with them. FL State it is!

See how easy this is? I'm very confident that my strategy will pay off and I will be victorious with my killer NCAA bracket. Well, I better go there are games on!!

Laters!
xo

Life Lesson #1 - Don't touch your eyes after chopping jalapeno peppers

I invite you to visualize the following description as you read today's entry.

A cook of tall height and long flowing brunette hair places a jalapeno pepper on a cutting board. The cook takes her Chef's knife and cuts the spicy chili (known for it's burning sensation when eaten) into halves. Using her dainty finger, she scoops out the seeds (aka picante) and sets them aside.

*Ring! Ring!*

The cook's cell phone sounds in the distance. "Ooh, I better take this call. It could be important", she thinks to herself. She sets her knife down and goes to answer her phone.

"Hello?"
"Hey Girl, whatcha doin'?"
"Oh nothing much, just making some Mexican food for dinner."
"That sounds amazing! Can I come over?"
"Of course girlfriend, mi casa es su casa."
"Okay Bye."
"Bye."

The cook hangs up her cell phone and feels an itch in her right eye. To soothe the annoying itch, the cook's finger steadily creeps to her eye in order to give it a little rub. As the finger and the eye make contact, transmission of picante heat occurs. The cook's knees buckle from excruciating pain and she falls to the ground. Tears fill her eyes and dull screams fill the room.

FIN.